Parenting matters during adolescence. As our children enter adolescence, we're easily pulled into the belief that since peers increasingly matter more, parenting matters less. We believe we're losing our influence. We're not. "There is no substitute for good parenting during adolescence," a sociologist friend assured me.
"Teenagers need parenting based on bonding (knowing they are loved) and monitoring (knowing they have supervision and accountability)." As peer influence increases, care needs to remain consistent. We need to continue acting like their parents and offer structure and say no when necessary.
We must recognize the task of adolescence and enable that task rather than thwart it. The main task of adolescence is to separate- to give up dependence on parents and become increasingly independent. It is to establish a sense of self-identity by asking, "Who am I, separate from my parents?" We must vow to allow our teenagers the space and freedom to pull away, express their individuality, and begin to gain confidence in their new definitions, though they may not always feel too comfortable to us.
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SOURCE: All Pro Dad