Black Fatherhood Today

Black Fatherhood Today tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2009-06-13://1 2012-05-01T06:53:53Z Movable Type Pro 4.25 A Note to Dads With Daughters tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.142 2012-05-01T06:32:29Z 2012-05-01T06:53:53Z

Dads...Spend as much time as possible with your little girl!NOW!!Seriously, do it right now!!!It's not too late.I don't care how old she is...start right now. (I just had a conversation a few weeks ago with a guy who flew to...

BFToday

Dads...

Spend as much time as possible with your little girl!

NOW!!

Seriously, do it right now!!!

It's not too late.

I don't care how old she is...start right now. (I just had a conversation a few weeks ago with a guy who flew to California for a day to spend some time with his daughter who is in her 20′s because she wanted to talk to him about something face to face.)

I know...there are times its awkward.

]]>

I began "dating" Charisse (my four year old daughter) when she was about 8-9 months old. Every Saturday morning I would get her up, read her Bible with her, get her dressed and then take her to Chic Fil A.

Yes, it was weird.

She could not really communicate to me.

She could not tell me what she wanted to eat (usually it was the cheese off of my biscuit.)

I received weird looks from men when I had to take her into the restroom when I had to change her diaper. (It was ALWAYS obvious when she needed a diaper change-WOW!)

But Dads...we must FIGHT through the awkwardness in order for her to have an awareness that we are always there, that we love her, care about her and will do whatever it takes to have a relationship with her.

Charisse is older now...she can talk to me and tell me what she wants. We still go on a date every Saturday morning and just the other day I asked her how much longer she wanted to have daddy dates on Saturday mornings...she replied, "for the rest of my life!"

I've got to be honest...I had a lump in my throat and fought back tears!!! Then it hit me...the reason she said that is because I fought through the awkwardness. I did not give her to Lucretia and somehow believe the false assumption that I would establish some sort of relationship with her when she became older because of the awkwardness.

It's ALWAYS going be a little awkward!

Heck, the other day I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied, "play with my fairy dolls."

I can PROMISE YOU that "play with fairy dolls" is not on the list of top 1,000 things I would like to do on a Saturday afternoon (and yes, I did throw other suggestions her way.)

BUT...at the end of the day that's what she wanted to do...and so we did it. (I was Silvermist for any of the ladies reading who might be interested!)

One day she will get older...I won't be as cool...

But...even then I'm dedicated to fighting through the awkwardness so her awareness that I love her and am always going to be with her is always there.

Dads...God blessed us with little girls, she should know what it means to be loved, cherished, valued and protected by a man because of who her father is and not her boyfriend!

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SOURCE: Christian Post - Perry Noble

]]> Becoming a Real Father tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.141 2012-05-01T05:23:47Z 2012-05-01T05:26:14Z

Are you making memories with your children? Those moments may be the best times of their lives....

BFToday Are you making memories with your children? Those moments may be the best times of their lives.

]]> The Encyclopedia Britannica gives a half page to the accomplishments of the son of President John Adams, Charles Francis Adams. Adams followed the political trail of his father and became a U.S. diplomat to Great Britain. The encyclopedia makes no mention of Charles' family, but Charles' diary does.

An entry one day read: "Went fishing with my son today--a day wasted."

Another diary, that of his son Brook Adams, gives us a different perspective: "Went fishing with my father--the most wonderful day of my life."

Interesting, isn't it, how a little boy's perspective could be so different from his dad's.

But it's true of me, too. I can remember tugging and half-pulling my dad out of his favorite chair while he was trying to read the evening newspaper. I wanted to play catch. He usually let me win the tug-of-war, sometimes reluctantly. Those were wonderful evenings.

There were fishing trips with Dad to Canada when I caught a trophy Northern Pike. And another outing to a local lake where he netted a small boy's catfish--a fish so small that it went through the holes in the net. He always used to kid me about that fish--his laughter still echoes in my mind when I recall that skinny fish slipping through the net.

It's interesting now as an adult how the mind can play tricks on me. Looking back, those days of vacation and moments of memories are among my most cherished possessions. Yet, now that I'm grown it seems that playing catch and going fishing are not nearly productive enough. No measurable goal is apparently achieved. Until, of course, I get a few moments to reflect on the value God places on a little boy or a little girl.

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SOURCE: FamilyLife

Dennis Rainey

]]> Where Are the Fathers? tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.140 2012-05-01T05:16:44Z 2012-05-01T06:03:26Z

We face an unprecedented crisis in America today--the physical and emotional absence of fathers....

BFToday We face an unprecedented crisis in America today--the physical and emotional absence of fathers.

]]> You see it in the sad eyes of a Cub Scout leader when he asks the fathers of the boys in his troop to help at a special event, and only two dads show up.

You see it in the awe-struck eyes of young boys in the inner city who look up to local gang members as their only role models.

You see it in the weary eyes of a mother trying to put her three young children to bed while her husband watches ESPN in the family room.

You see it in the downhearted eyes of a single mom whose former husband found another woman and moved across the country, leaving her with two angry teenage boys.

And you see it proud eyes of young men who feel they prove their manhood by impregnating teenage girls.

What you see, in short, is a cultural crisis that is more serious than many people realize--the absent father syndrome. Today's media often portrays the "New Father"--present in the delivery room, involved in raising the children, sharing household chores. But statistics tell a different story. Thanks to rising rates in divorce and illegitimate births, increased acceptance of premarital sex, and a growing confusion over male and female family roles, one can safely say that a growing number of "New Fathers" today are physically or emotionally removed from the lives of their children.

It's as if America is determined to test the relevance of a philosophy satirically voiced by playwright Oscar Wilde: "Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life."

Based on her studies of human civilizations, famed anthropologist Margaret Mead wrote that "every known human society rests firmly on the learned nurturing behavior of men." Men, she wrote, are prone toward irresponsibility, and a culture must create social structures that encourage, train, and even force them to take responsibility for their children.

Modern-day America, unfortunately, is providing a classic study of what happens when those words are not heeded. There are two fronts to the fatherless crisis:

The physically absent father. As David Blankenhorn of the Institute for American Values writes:

"A generation ago, an American child could reasonably expect to grow up with his or her father. Today, an American child can reasonably expect not to....

"This astonishing fact is reflected in many statistics, but here are the two most important: Tonight, about 40 percent of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half...are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods living apart from their fathers. Never before in this country have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their fathers. Never before have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a father."

While many single mothers do an exemplary job of raising their children, studies tie many of our social problems to physically absent fathers. Fatherless children are more likely to drop out of school, become involved in crime, and commit suicide. They are more frequent targets of sexual abuse. And they are more likely to have children of their own outside of marriage.

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SOURCE: FamilyLife

Dave Boehi

]]> Lecrae's 'Man Up' Mission to Address Father Absence tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.139 2012-05-01T05:16:41Z 2012-05-01T05:22:04Z

The 32-year-old Christian rapper says biblical manhood is the key to stopping fatherlessness in Atlanta and beyond....

BFToday The 32-year-old Christian rapper says biblical manhood is the key to stopping fatherlessness in Atlanta and beyond.

]]> "Be the last of a dying breed, it's time that we man up." That's the last line of the new "Man Up Anthem" from Christian rap group 116 Clique. The song is just one sliver of a growing campaign launched last year by rapper Lecrae, 32, and his Reach Records in Atlanta, to get young men in hip-hop culture to "man up" into responsible husbands and fathers across the country.

Lecrae, whose outspoken faith and creative rhymes have gained the attention of John Piper and BET alike, has skyrocketing album sales for a Christian hip-hop artist, landing on Billboard's top 200 and independent album charts. But the Houston native is determined to steward his recent fame to address chronic social ills affecting communities nationwide, one man at a time.

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SOURCE: Christianity Today

Andrew Thompson

]]> Dads Behaving Dadly Project tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.138 2012-04-08T05:16:36Z 2012-04-08T05:28:30Z

The Dads Behaving Dadly project is in search of good dads to acknowledge in a new book and needs your help. Please visit the website at http://dadsbehavingdadly.com/ for information about the mission, goals, how to submit a story and...

BFToday

The Dads Behaving Dadly project is in search of good dads to acknowledge in a new book and needs your help. Please visit the website at http://dadsbehavingdadly.com/ for information about the mission, goals, how to submit a story and updates on the book's progress.

]]> If you agree with the book's mission, please spread the word and direct other dads to the website. Tray Chaney, the highly celebrated up and coming actor, has endorsed and submitted a story to the Dads Behaving Dadly Book. Tray is best known for his role as "Poot" on the HBO's Original hit series "The Wire". He was also featured on "The District" (CBS). Tray's talents also include writing and music. His inspirational book "THE TRUTH YOU CAN'T BeTRAY" debuted on July 18th 2010. Tray's newest venture includes stepping into the world of music as a writer, producer, and rapper. He has established his own production company "Firedrop Music Group" with his long time friend and partner Don Cox. Please check out Tray's song titled "Fatherhood." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJfaDhrM4k4 If you have any questions, contact hilling@roadrunner.com.

Hogan Hilling, Author & Dads Behaving Dadly Co-Founder

www.hoganhilling.com

http://dadsbehavingdadly.com/

www.daddyshome.org

214 N. Stevens

Orange, CA 92868

(949) 331-8119

]]> Dwyane Wade to Write a Book on Fatherhood tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.137 2012-04-08T05:02:53Z 2012-04-08T05:10:58Z

Being a single parent is tough. Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade knows the struggle just as much as anyone. This September, the former cover star is set to release a book on fatherhood, A Father First: How My Life Became...

BFToday

Being a single parent is tough. Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade knows the struggle just as much as anyone. This September, the former cover star is set to release a book on fatherhood, A Father First: How My Life Became Bigger than Basketball.

]]> According to the Huffington Post, playing basketball has always been Wade's life's dream, being a father means so much more to him. "As a child, I grew up with aspirations to one day be a professional basketball player, and I am living that dream every day as a proud member of the Miami Heat," Wade said. "However, the daily role I play in the lives of my two children is the single most significant undertaking of my life, and the job I take most seriously."

Wade's road to this point has been rocky. In 2011 he won sole custody of his two boys, Zaire Blessing Dwyane Wade and Zion Malachi Airamis Wade, from ex-wife Siohvaughn.

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SOURCE: Essence - Derrick Bryson Taylor

]]> The Construction of a Great Dad tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.136 2012-04-04T03:28:38Z 2012-04-08T03:44:48Z

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Todd Cartmell's recent book, Project Dad: The Complete Do-It-Yourself Guide for Becoming a Great Father, (Revell Books, 2011).As a man, you may love to build things - from...

BFToday

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Todd Cartmell's recent book, Project Dad: The Complete Do-It-Yourself Guide for Becoming a Great Father, (Revell Books, 2011).

As a man, you may love to build things - from a new gadget for your house, to a new fence for your yard. You might even be so handy at building that you can repair your car's engine yourself or make a toy for your kids by hand. Or, you may be one of those men who's more likely to call a technician that tackle a do-it-yourself building project.

No matter what level of building skills you have, however, there's one building project that you can't afford to ignore: building yourself into a great father. God, your Father in heaven, stands ready to help you every step of the way if you'll commit to the project - and you and your kids will love the results.

]]> Here's how you can be built into a great father:

Ask God to shape you into the man He wants you to become. Honestly and humbly confess your sins and shortcomings to God and ask Him to forgive and change you. Invite God to do whatever work is necessary in your life to help you become a better person and father. Commit to following whatever instructions God gives you for the project.

Build the right eyes. Look at your kids from the right perspective - the way God looks at them - to help them become the people God made to them to be. Ask God to show you the unique ways that He has made of your kids special. Keep in mind that God has placed many treasures inside your kids that He wants you to discover and affirm in them. Pay attention to the details of your children's lives as they grow and change; doing so will make them feel valuable and loved. Encourage your kids to discover, develop, and use the gifts and talents that God has given them. Look past your children's mistakes and help them turn those mistakes into great learning experiences. Remember that your time with your children is limited, so make the most of every opportunity you have each day to positively impact their lives. Use mealtimes, bedtimes, travel times, and time together in the mornings before work and school to engage in fun and meaningful discussions and pray together.

Build the right mouth. Talk to your kids in ways that will nurture them and help them think correctly about themselves. Discuss both little topics (the details of your children's daily lives) and big topics (values that relate to God, family, friends, work, and issues they face, such as bullying, dating, and alcohol). Ask God to help you develop a warm communication style when talking with your kids, listening carefully to them and encouraging them when you speak. Avoid communication styles that can damage your relationships with your kids, such as yelling at them, putting them down, and teasing them inappropriately. Whenever you want to discuss a serious issue with your children, choose the right time and place so you can all relax and focus best. Choose to communicate positive words to your kids as often as possible. Encourage your children to choose positive attitudes and actions by letting them you notice their good choices and praising them for what they're doing right rather than complaining about what they're doing wrong.

Build the right heart. Connect with your kids to build strong, lasting relationships with them. Spend as much time with your children as possible, sacrificing other activities to be with them regularly. Build bonds with your kids by using loving body language when you're with them, such as hugging them and looking into their eyes when they're speaking so they know that you really care about what they have to say. Decide to treat each of your children with respect in every situation, no matter what. Listen to your kids first and speak second, and do your best to fully understand the thoughts and feelings they express to you. Build a loving family culture by praying for each other regularly, enjoying fun activities together often, and honestly discussing issues that are important to each of you in the household.

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SOURCE: Crosswalk - Whitney Hopler

]]> Fathers, Turn Your Hearts Toward Your Children tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.132 2012-03-31T23:10:41Z 2012-03-31T23:13:40Z

BFToday

"He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children..."

- Malachi 4:6

Let me share four ways a father's heart is turned to his children. How does a father reach a child whose heart is turned from the father? How does a father reconcile with his children and teach his children to reconcile with God? The child learns how to have a relationship with God by learning how to have a relationship with the father. We who are fathers are the windows through which a child sees God. God's primary purpose for a father is that He would pattern godliness and holy living before his children so they might know who the Heavenly Father is.

]]> 1. Fathers, know when to lay down the law and know when to give grace to your children. Why is it we are so often convinced that more is better. We are admonished to do everything in moderation. We should apply the same laws of moderation when disciplining our children. Too much or too little can be most destructive. Laying parameters gives security to the child. Trust me, he/she doesn't want total freedom. Drawing a line in the sand gives your child a sense of security they desperately need. But know this; your children will learn the grace of God when grace is demonstrated by their fathers. Ask God for wisdom to know when to show grace.

Fathers, your children were born in sin. Your mission in life should be to teach your children how they might be freed from the bondage of sin. A strict set of rules and regulations in your home will not deliver your children from sin. Rules never transform the heart, relationship transforms the heart. The relationship you have with you children is far more important than a set of 'do's and don'ts'.

2. Fathers, learn to talk with your children. Step out of your world and into theirs. You may hate their music and their tattoos and you may be confused by their desire for body piercings. Ask them what they like about the music. Ask them why they want a tattoo. You can refuse them permission to participate in certain things as long as they live under your roof but let them know you are interested in them. The worst thing you can do to a child is ignore them. Moms are much better with communication skills than dads are but it is crucial for us to talk to our children.

Josh McDowell asked this question to a large number of youths: "Who can you go to when you are experiencing difficulty in your life?" Dad was number 48 on the list. A child who doesn't feel comfortable talking to his father is a child whose heart is turned away from his father.

3. Fathers teach your children. "For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children." (Psa. 78:5)

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SOURCE: Christian Topics

]]> Teaching Children the Importance of Winning tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.131 2012-03-31T22:39:34Z 2012-03-31T22:40:38Z

BFToday

by Chris Call

Like any devoted father with an ego the size of a banana tree, I prepared for the annual cub scout pine wood derby with the cunning and patience of a lioness in wait. My seven year old Tiger cub thought the car we had constructed, was "cool". Having been exposed to the rigors of previous derbies with my older son, I knew that many scouts, along with their aerospace engineer fathers, would craft six inch vehicles that would put Detroit's Big Three to shame. As race time approached, I employed all my creative energy to produce a car that would do my son proud.

]]> The school cafeteria had been converted to a scale model of the Indy 500 Speedway. Checkered flags and Pennzoil posters decorated the walls. A grandstand lined the track, a downhill drag strip that had been electronically wired to capture photo finish winners and display the results on a video projected image on the wall opposite the spectators. This was serious business.

Pre-race festivities included a showcase display of all the cars and, as I had anticipated, many of the cars appeared to be scale replicas of the Formula 1 racers, complete with miniature leather seats and chrome plated stick shifts. Our car fell somewhere between these prima donnas and the unpainted cars that some fathers had the audacity to let their cub scouts make on their own. I was confident that we would make a respectable showing when the wheels hit the track.

My son eagerly watched as our car was placed along side three others at the top of the track. Every car would compete in four separate heats, each time on a different track to eliminate any advantage a particular track might offer. As the wooden starting gate fell, my son cheered as our car began its descent.

It took only a few seconds for the enthusiasm to turn to disappointment. Our car limped weakly through the finish line, dead last of the four cars and not even a serious challenge for third place. The humiliation repeated itself in the subsequent three heats, each time the morale of my little scout dropping ever deeper into an abyss.

After we had retrieved our embarrassment of a car, my son's despair turned to tears. We huddled behind the grandstand, father consoling son in the face of a mutual defeat. Although I was technically responsible for the construction, and therefore the performance, of the car, my son claimed ownership. It was his car. His peers had beaten him in front of parents, siblings and scout leaders. He was humiliated.

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SOURCE: Father Mag

]]> Yes, Fathers Are Essential tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.130 2012-03-31T21:40:45Z 2012-03-31T22:07:42Z

by Carey RobertsIn the past several decades, the United States has achieved the dubious distinction of becoming the world leader in fatherless families. Currently, 34% of American children live without their biological father. When did this trend start, and what...

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by Carey Roberts

In the past several decades, the United States has achieved the dubious distinction of becoming the world leader in fatherless families. Currently, 34% of American children live without their biological father. When did this trend start, and what does it bode for our kids?

The rise of father-absence can be traced 50 years back. In 1965, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, then working in the Johnson administration, looked into the problems of under-class America. The Moynihan Report issued this solemn warning:

]]> "From the wild Irish slums of the 19th century eastern seaboard, to the riot-torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history: A community that allows a large number of young men to grow up in broken families, dominated by women, never acquiring any stable relationship to male authority, never acquiring any rational expectations about the future -- that community asks for and gets chaos."

The heralded Report offered Americans a unique opportunity to alter the trajectory of history, to thwart the impending plunge into the abyss.

But rather than heed the prescient warning, warm-hearted liberals denounced Moynihan's conclusion as "blaming the victim." And feminists reviled the report as promoting the "hetero-patriarchal" agenda.

But it wasn't enough to just ignore Moynihan's analysis.

Architects of the Great Society program went ahead and implemented eligibility requirements that cut off welfare benefits if the father resided with the mother - the so-called "man-in-the-house" rule. Now, low-income fathers found themselves pitted against government largesse to compete for the loyalty of poor mothers. A tragic mismatch, indeed.

As a result, the number of children who lived in fatherless homes mushroomed from 5.1 million in 1960 to 16.5 million in 1995. These policies were so devastating in their impact that involved, caring fathers all but disappeared from low-income, Black neighborhoods.

So while liberals comforted themselves with the knowledge that they had avoided "blaming the victim," millions of little boys and girls had to console themselves with the elusive hope that someday, society would stop shoving daddy out the back door.

Once poor fathers had been run out of their homes, the fem-liberals broadened their focus. They launched an attack on the whole notion of fatherhood itself (here).

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SOURCE: Father Mag

]]> Courageous' 'Snake King', Robert Amaya, Challenges Men at Brooksville Church tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.126 2012-03-03T23:49:36Z 2012-03-03T23:56:43Z

Miami native Robert Amaya, known as Javier Martinez or the "Snake King," in the movie "Courageous"--thrilled listeners at First Baptist Church of Brooksville Jan. 14 with real life anecdotes and snippets of his unforgettable experience--but reminded them that when production...

BFToday

Although the role he played as a father in the movie brought him a screen family and a friendship with four police officers in Albany, Ga.--Amaya begins by telling a story about his 2-year-old daughter, Sophia, and his wife, Colleen. Amidst belly laughs, the overall message was poignant and stern: the world needs more courageous fathers.

]]> "Where are the men who will stand up and be bold?" Amaya asked. "Where are the men who are willing to set an example for the next generation?"

Amaya said his father's story was a lot like Javier's. An immigrant from El Salvador, he came to the U.S. with very little money. He started off by working very hard in factories and eventually opened his own carpet business.

"I was raised in a Christian family and that was a huge blessing," Amaya said. "My father was an awesome role model, he never compromised his principles and he stood on the Word of God."

Before the night was over, 19 fathers and husbands pledged before God and their families to follow "The Resolution," a declaration taken from "Courageous." It consists of 12 statements that challenge men to be intentional about embracing their responsibilities as spiritual leaders of their homes, marriages, and children.

"Men, in one way or another, your actions will be the lens that your children will view themselves with," Amaya said. "We have to be intentional about our responsibility as Godly men."

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SOURCE: Florida Baptist Witness

]]> Don't Take Fatherhood For Granted tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.125 2012-03-03T23:49:36Z 2012-03-03T23:53:07Z

BFToday

If there's one thing I've learned on this journey called life it's not to take fatherhood for granted. I have been given a gift in the form of a child and nobody else has one quite like him. My child is unique and rare and can never be duplicated. Although it's quite a responsibility being a father, it's something that can pay back such high rewards. That is why I try to never take it for granted.

Sometimes it's hard. After a rough day at work and a splitting headache the last thing I want to do is chase my child around the house looking for a hug, which is our current coming-home game. Sometimes I just need to walk in the house and arrive for a few minutes before the demands start. These are the times when I find it hard to take the time to enjoy fatherhood but I buckle down and do it.

]]> Someday I'll be walking into an empty home and will miss my child screaming, "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!"

So I enjoy it today. Even after the boss has yelled at me and the heater broke in the car on the way home and my toes felt like they were going to break off from my feet. I want to have kids and I want to experience everything that goes with it. Even when I don't want to; I want to. Try explaining that to someone that isn't a father!

I guess everything falls into place best at night when I am tucking them into their twin over twin bunk beds. I love this time because we can have a good heart to heart. Sometimes they tell me what's on their minds or what's happened during the day. Some nights they'll tell me about their dreams and what the future holds for them. It's really a beautiful time where we can connect and even escape reality for a bit. Sometimes I sit on the edge of their bunk beds and tell them about my dreams.

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SOURCE: True Fatherhood

]]> Rising to the Challenge of Christian Fatherhood tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.124 2012-03-03T23:33:32Z 2012-03-03T23:34:56Z

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn, Letters to My SonMen, you are the leaders of your families. You might be reluctant to assume that role. You might even deny that it...

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It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son

Men, you are the leaders of your families. You might be reluctant to assume that role. You might even deny that it falls to you. Nonetheless, you are your family's de facto leader, whether you choose to believe it or not.

Leaders are always the highest-priority targets in any war. The enemy knows that if he can kill the commander, the troops will be easier to defeat. Cut off the head and the body dies. The body in this case is your family--you are the head. One way to fight back and be the leaders God created us to be is to be aware of our roles, our responsibilities, and our influence with those we lead.

]]> The Indispensable Father

You may not think of yourself as being particularly influential or even successful in life. Maybe you don't make a lot of money, lead a large group of people, save lives, or invent amazing gadgets. Maybe life has even beaten you down, and you've lost confidence in your abilities. Consequently, you don't think of yourself as a big deal. But you can bet your boy does. He thinks you're a very big deal. He doesn't know or care what the outside world thinks. He only knows that between the walls of your home, you are about the biggest, wisest, most powerful person alive. Oh, he knows you're not perfect. But he doesn't care, because you're just good enough to be indispensable in his life.

Fathering is at the heart of masculinity, of what it means to be a man. Godly fathers put others' needs before their own. If you're like me, you spend the majority of your conscious thought and effort on satisfying your own wants and needs. It's almost an automatic response to life. But if we are to be authentic men and fathers, we need to rethink that attitude and consciously make sacrifices so others can benefit and prosper.

When fathers neglect this duty or are absent from the home, families are attacked by predators. Young men, such as gang members, who are raised without the influence of older men often become marauding wolves themselves--predators preying on women and children for their own self-gratification.

Families are like flocks of sheep. Children, like lambs, are naive and simple in their understanding of the world. Fathers are like sheepdogs, guarding the flock from marauding wolves. We protect our families from human predators and from corrupt television programs, movies, music, books, friends, and other people or influences that enter into a child's life.

By the way, sheepdogs come from the wolf genus, so they are no stranger to wolves' traits and habits. Fitting, isn't it? We dads often find the hackles rising on our necks when we sense a wolf in sheep's clothing parading around our kids. I once told my teenage daughter, "I might not always know why, but I know a wolf when I see one; I can sense him." Of course, my daughter says that I think all boys are wolves, but I just tell her that's because I used to be one. It takes one to know one.

When I was dating, I was, like all young guys, deathly afraid of the fathers of the girls I went out with. If the majority of fathers showed any interest in meeting the boys their daughters were dating, I suspect that nearly all young men would be forced to remain celibate until marriage.

The other day I stopped by an apartment complex to visit a young boy whose single mother had asked me to meet with him. As I pulled into the large complex, I noticed at least thirty-five or forty kids playing in the parking lot. The kids were of all ages, from toddlers up to teenagers. Several of the older boys were wearing gang attire, aggressively posturing, smoking pot, and swearing loudly. A number of young ladies wearing suggestive clothing were hanging around them, trying to get their attention. Rap music was blaring from a speaker for all the kids to hear, no matter how young. The lyrics of the song were so vulgar that they would have embarrassed the sailors on the Navy ship I was once stationed on. Yet these children played amidst this chaos as if it were a normal part of growing up. The only adults around were a few predatory men who skirted the perimeter of the action, looking for weakened prey.

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SOURCE: Crosswalk

]]> They Grow Up So Fast: Enjoying the Present tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.123 2012-03-03T23:24:58Z 2012-03-03T23:25:44Z

BFToday

There are moments when I find myself wishing Lex was a little older and able to do different things. There are also other times when my responsibilities with regards to Lex seem too large to be able to maintain a work-life-sleep balance. In those moments of weakness, the trials of parenthood, I find myself wishing I wasn't such a hands-on dad (such as when I'm changing another poopy diaper), or rather that I had a few less responsibilities (such as always getting up with Lex during the night and in the mornings). However, when those moments pass I recognize that I am quite pleased with the way things are. In fact, I recognize that truly, they grow up so fast and the best I can do now is to explore and enjoy the journey in the present. Let me try to share the thought process that leads me to this conclusion.]]> Wishing to Return to Past Times

Looking through photos of Lex is always enjoyable. Doing so can also be surprising because it sparks feelings of nostalgia about tough times. Some of those photos were taken during times that seemed very difficult when they were happening. However, those photos can make me want to go back to Lex when he was at that point in time. They make me want to go back to those times which seemed so difficult at the moment.

When I recognize this longing for the Lex of the past I learn something very valuable about the present. If its possible for me to miss Lex of the past and the parenting experiences of the past, especially from very difficult trials of parenthood, then perhaps I didn't fully appreciate those past times and Lex as he was at those points in time. Conversely, perhaps I did enjoy those moments to the fullest extent possible as they were happening, and yet I still wish I could jump back to a particular point in time.

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SOURCE: True Fatherhood

]]> 'Courageous' Hits No. 1 in Nationwide DVD Sales tag:blackfatherhoodtoday.com,2012://1.122 2012-02-02T05:38:31Z 2012-02-02T05:41:11Z

BFToday

The church-made film "Courageous" is once again surprising the pundits thanks to strong DVD sales that have made it the No. 1-selling DVD nationwide.

Made by Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Ga., Courageous was the top-selling DVD for the week ending Jan. 22, according to Nielsen. With a budget of only $1 million -- pennies by Hollywood standards -- Courageous bested several movies with much larger budgets: No. 2. "Ides of March" ($37 million budget), No. 3 "Abduction" ($35 million) and No. 4 "Moneyball" ($50 million).

The Courageous DVD, released Jan. 17, includes more than two hours of special features, including deleted scenes, a "making of Courageous" segment and Courageous bloopers.
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Each film by Sherwood Baptist has grossed more than its predecessor. The church -- which gets only a portion of the total gross -- also made Fireproof (2008) and Facing the Giants (2006). Courageous grossed $34.3 million.

The movie follows the story of five men -- four of them police officers -- as they strive to become better fathers.

SOURCE: Baptist Press
Michael Foust]]>